Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder 101

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How We Handle Outside Activities- (Part 3)

Posted by fasd101 on August 15, 2013 at 12:40 AM

~Continued from part 2~

Is he/she going to have toileting issues?

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If so, be sure to pack extra clothing just in case. Maybe this is a good time for him/her to wear Disposable Underwear (like pull ups). There is no harm in your child wearing Disposable Underwear (even if he is older) if he needs that extra help. You can get all different sizes (even adult size) from my links. Take extra potty breaks. If he should have an accident, try and stay calm and don't make a big deal of it, just help him clean himself up and then get back to the activity.

I understand how frustrating this can be, but by staying calm and quiet and not talking very much you will be helping your child to regroup and move on from this issue instead of adding more anxiety and the feeling of being out of control.

Watch his behavior, it may be a clue that the activity is to hard for him to handle. If that is the case, and you are able, either leave the activity or take a break from the activity and let your child have some quiet time to regroup.

In a backpack I like to put a few little toys (cars, coloring book or note paper) and a small blanket. It helps to put the blanket over the child's head and let him play with those toys quietly.

The blanket over the head blocks out a lot of sight stimulation and muffles some of the sounds. After about 10-20 minutes he may be ready to get back to the activity. If not, then he may not be able to process the activity at this time. You could to try it again in the future.

Disposable underwear, possibly wetting or soiling his pants and leaving the activity early are costs? Are you willing to pay it?

Is he going to get anxious?

If you are able, show him the place you are taking him. Google Maps is a cool and fun way to see places ahead of time. Talk to him about what you are planning on doing, who is going to be there, what you might eat. If you are able, give him as much information as possible, several days, even weeks ahead. He wont remember, he will ask you again in five minutes and you will have to tell him again,

But that is the cost

of hopefully preparing him/her for a successful outing.

One of my children especially has this issue of perseverating on "stuff" in life.

If he knows we are thinking of going anywhere, he will ask several times when we are going, did I remember we had to go to _____? and a whole host of other questions, reminders and bodily ticks. Sometimes I take the liberty to NOT tell him ahead of time that we are planning on going anywhere AND sometimes I give him fare warning. It depends on where we are going. If it is a familiar place, then those are the times I take the liberty to wait to tell him.

If the questions become overwhelming and he does not seem to be able to control himself, I will put up my hand and tell him to


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"Its okay, I have it under control. You can trust me. I don't want to hear you talk about this anymore."

Of course, I have to do this several times. Thankfully, over time he has learned to have some self control and trust that I am handling things.

I also tell him to “check the calendar” which is another tool we use. Each of my boys have their own calendar (yearly Christmas gift from the Dollar store). They each mark their calendar with things that are going to happen and can mark the days off as they choose. I also have a large calendar that all of them can see with appointments, birthday's, events, etc... like most calendars. I too mark off the days as they pass. This helps give them a more concrete way of seeing the time pass as

events get closer.

Being asked a million times & reminding a million times, calendars, time explaining who what when where and how about the event and planning, are all costs. Are you willing to pay it?

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